by Lenore Buth
On our only trip to Rome years ago, I viewed one of Michelangelo's best-known works. His marble, full-figure statue of the young David, which stands 17 ft. high, left me without words.
The story goes that someone asked how he was able to bring forth such stunning works from blocks of marble. The artist answered:
"I saw the angel in the marble and I carved until I set him free."
As Christian parents we pray to understand each child, that is, to "see the angel" within each one. Each child arrives bearing innate qualities as yet unknown to parents.
For each sculpture, Michelangelo had to "cooperate" with the block of marble before him and work with its unique characteristics. Similarly, most of us discover we need to adjust our expectations as we work with the individual child--the "marble"--God gives us.
Our goal is not to change what's within our children, but to work with who God created them to be.
You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
Where do we start?
First we need a clear fix on what it means to be a "good parent." For Christian moms and dads it's more than simply meeting essential needs and keeping our child safe.
Our Creator implants unique qualities and abilities within each child--and often, some surprises, as well. Some of those characteristics may not fit our expectations or may push us out of our comfort zone—and each child comes bearing different gifts than siblings.
Wise parenting as Christians includes recognizing and remembering that each child is an individual with a God-given temperament and personality. Our call is to seek to understand what makes each one who they are. We also need to remind ourselves often that God gave us to each other because we are perfectly suited for each other, even though some days we can’t see how.
We look for opportunities that enable each child to develop their strengths and talents. We talk with our children and teens and patiently teach them. Encourage them. We let them branch out and try new things.
When they stumble--and they will, we pick them up, hug them and reassure them, glad they're gaining experience and strength while we're around to comfort and lift their spirits.
All along we ask the Lord's help and guidance, we cheer them on and pour on our support and T.L.C.
As a father (or mother) shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13
Put these on your list of essentials
How can we help our kids get ready for life?
Set firm, fair limits--and stick to them
Be consistent every time. Even when you're too tired--or too preoccupied--to care and just want the pestering to stop
Don't say it unless you mean it and have considered it carefully. But, if you say it, make it stick
(Unless you truly have an "angel child," don't kid yourself that you'll never have to enforce the limits you set.)
All this is part of helping our kids learn to live and function in this world, whether they're by our side or away from us. We do all this so our children mature into adults that others can count on.
Even better, they'll grow into individuals who can count on themselves.
But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him. 1 John 2:5
In every situation we choose what we look for--and what we see
As always, we get to choose. As Christians we aim to keep our eyes on Jesus, not on our problems. Every part of parenting and living gets better-and easier--if we focus on Him. (Marriage, too, and any kind of working with people.)
That means we fix our attention on what's good and right and true. We search out the beauty and potential our Creator planted within each child from birth. (He did the same with every human being around us, even when we can't see it at the moment.) We feed our minds what fills our souls.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8
Think how that simple shift in mindset could transform all our relationships
The principles are the same, whatever our life situation may be. The tools available to each of us are the same: Our time, our attention and yes, our hard work, all of it offered with lots of love. With these--and with our words and our prayers--we have what we need to carry out what God gives us to do. What's more, we have the Helper right there with us, just as Jesus promised his disciples. (John 15:26)
Our call is to be faithful. To persevere, to use every bit of talent, knowledge and skill we've been given. Over and over. Day after day.
When we get weary or doubt our abilities--and we will--we do what Michelangelo must have done. We pray for strength and guidance. We persevere, even on "bad" days or when we can't see much progress. Always, we keep on trusting the One who knows the end before the beginning.
We learn. We grow. We get better at understanding and wiser in how we parent our children--and how we live. We entrust the results to our loving, gracious God and we thank him for using us.
We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy. Colossians 1:11 NLT
God used Michelangelo to show Bible truths in ways that people could see and understand
God uses ordinary people like you and me, too, to carry out what he would have us do.
What moms and dads do every day, every nitty-gritty part of it, will echo on for generations. How could it not?
Children naturally learn about life and "catch" personality traits and habits and attitudes from parents and family members. When faith in Jesus and being part of a warm, loving church family all are routine in family life, young people are more likely to want to follow him for themselves.
Whatever we do, however we serve, we know where to turn for help and guidance, every day of our lives. However big the challenges of our lives we can be at peace because of Jesus. We have all we need.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19